Bad Coffee Review!

It’s about time we did a review of coffee shops of London, well this time we are going to tell you about a little group we like to call the ‘Yucky Coffee Shops’.
Because they make some of the worst coffee we have tasted in our lives.

Goswell Road Coffee

Her: This place was packed! Full of some of the most impolite trendy’s I have ever seen! Not one person got out of the way when you had full to the brim coffees. However in hindsight I wish I had split mine because it was probably one of the worst blends I have ever tasted. It had a sour burnt taste that I cannot really explain, apart from to say please never drink it! I’m not sure about the other drinks or food because after the coffee I didn’t care to try. The decor was interesting and the loyalty card was pretty cool but even with the wrapping all nice the products were stick YUCK! Plus the internet was disgraceful!

Him: I had been here years before and seem to have the an idea that it was ok. Something must have changed though because I had a hot chocolate (surprise surprise) or that was what it was suppose to be. It was mostly hot frothy milk with some cadburys chocolate powder congealed at the bottom. The only reason why this place could possibly be packed is because it was interestingly decorated. However you had to be seen on your mac, No body was talking to anyone apart from via their MacBooks. It was a horrible place couldn’t wait to get away!

Tina We Salute You!

Her:  Well this was a let down. After cycling past this however many times, I noticed the graffiti outside but not the shop itself. However after looking online for coffee shops local that had wifi this one came highly reviewed. Why? Were these people brainwashed? Were they drinking something that I wasn’t? Maybe just maybe they smoked something first.

Him: Tina we salute you on your ability to make really bland, overpriced coffee! and make everyone sit on really uncomfortable old school chairs with really meh decor. In an old news agents on the outer limits of Dalston and call it ‘Trendy’ It was said to be one of the best coffee shops around, we really must stop reading reviews from sheep that will conform to everything that is bland and boring.

Shoreditch Grind

Her: Well what to say about this place? It was packed, I’m not sure why? There was minimal seating and way to many staff behind the counter. Although we asked for hot coffee we got just a little bit above stone cold. The coffee again tasted a little bitter with hints of car exhaust.

Him:  This place is more fun on the outside than it is on the inside. The sign post outside normally has some quirky quote or pun and is always a highlight when you go past on the bus. Inside however, It is loud in order to create an atmosphere. Its crowded, the seats are uncomfortable! and the coffee is Ab-ys-mal!  The only saving grace of that entire experience was that the decoration on the froth stayed till the very last drops.

Look Mom, No Hands

Her: I remember there being bikes everywhere, people with the long beards, the swallow tattoos that are always on mens chests now.  There is kind of a uniform look everywhere. Well that’s not really reviewing the coffee just the clientele. The coffee was well not exactly coffee. I think it was the last shallow dregs of an old pot that had been washed out with dish soap. If you don’t believe us, go try it!

Him: We saved the best for last! or is that the worst? Have you ever had coffee from a working man’s cafe? Imagine those polystyrene cups and that froth with no coffee flavor what so ever, That was still better than this place! We took two sips but sent them back as they were stone cold and horrible. They re-made them we tasted them at the counter and asked for our money back and left. It is trendy for the sake of being trendy. Wall to wall fixies and wannabe’s waiting to be seen in the right place at the right time. 

Well for the moment that is all the bad coffee we can take. I’m sure there will be more (much, much more) From what we can tell they will probably be around the same area as above. Hopefully though there will be more good than bad. Stay tuned for more and if you have any suggestions for good coffee leave us a comment.

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