Starving in Osaka

After seeing the success that was our adventure in Osaka and Kyoto! Here is what we ate and what coffee shops we sampled all in one post, you will see why…

喫茶我路 (Lit Translation: Coffee Shop Street)

A random coffee shop down a back street, which seemed very ‘For the locals’ run by an elderly couple who were very nice and cute, the coffee was exceptionally sour and almost undrinkable – but the lady did say it tastes good with milk (but Bob couldn’t do that) Ash could so he had a Milk Float Coffee with a dollop of Ice Cream in it! It wasn’t bad so much so that it has became one of the highlights of Osaka (that says a lot!) But it was a good find.

The First day we wandered round and round for ages until we found a place that could/would do food for vegetarians.

We did go into one of those Upstairs Restaurants, you know, past the abandoned bikes and looked like a conferted office, we even sat down at the table with menus but the woman creeped us out, just staring and being weird, so we left! We wandered around for so long, we were starving and we found this place, we have no idea what it is called, if you recognise it, tell us!

The staff were really nice and tried to help, mostly the Indian Chef called Bob ‘Momma’ for some reason. The food was simple and seemed to be a lot of fried cabbage and noodles, but it also included MSG x1000, it gave Ash a massive headache and was not really tasty in any which way! I guess it stayed in us long enough to stop the hunger, but not much longer than that!

Vegan Bao

Whilst in DenDen looking in all the anime shops, we saw “Vegan Bao” Yay vegan! We ordered two different things and sat in a car park, as that was ultimately what the shop was – A small Cargo container with food and a few seats and tables and of course random abandoned bikes!

The food was ok, it really didn’t have much if any flavour… the drinks were very healthy tasting I guess (as in they tasted of Dirt and Grass)….

Then about 30 mins later – food poisoning and stomach aches!

On the first day in Kyoto we found the famous vegan restaurants UZU Ramen, there is a 3 month waiting list to get a table and the food is famously expensive and ridiculously small, so we didn’t even try. Nearby is Vegginy a equally famous Vegan restaurant, in a perfect Japanese location, down really steep stairs, behind a bank of Air Conditioning units in a dark concrete basement – we found it, but never mind it was shut, because everywhere shuts at 4pm in Japan!

Instead after wandering for what felt like a thousand years surviving on mostly vending machine juice, kitkats and water we decided to return to Osaka and ‘Near the station’ we found this place – down two alleys, under a motorway, through a car park and under a bridge, through a building site, shimming through a dilapidated building and ending in the most shiftiest alley of them all was this place, a wooden shack, that felt like it was going to fall down, but it was packed and we could only get a small table upstairs, next to a large group of Extremely loud office workers.

They served Veggie Pizza – with cheese – you can guess what happened there! We asked for no Aubergine or Couregette so they made an Aubergine and Courgette Pizza cooked in oil and with extra cheese!

For Ash the world’s most tiniest chicken pieces – literally two cubes on a piece of slate.

Not only that, but we were given the foreign menu and charged more for that, even though we had already translated it on Google and were ready to order.

We were clearly not wanted there and we wouldn’t go back even if we could find it again, which is highly doubtful!

Mattari-Purin Dotombori

Pudding – But is it worth Lee Know’s 5 star review?

Bob will never know! But Ash tried it and thought; It was a small cup of weak flavoured, thick caramel custard, about two mouthfuls, they served one thing, this Pudding Cup and it was bland, I guess if you ate about 10 of them it might be something!

All that was notable was the kiosk was covered in Lee Know pictures, that was their only selling point, a celebrity endorsement!

SAIJIKI

On the Last night as the heavens opened and we got completely soaked we found this Chinese restaurant near where we were staying in the Rat infested, Red Light District death trap of Tennoji! It was an open space, freezing cold and with shitty tables and bad service. But we ordered food – can’t remember what! – and Ash threw up this time, not after, but actually in the restaurant, halfway through eating and Bob still had stomach ache so yay! So, we went back to the Prison Cell to eat Kit Kats!

We did leave our website on the wall – we should have left a review, but that would have been dangerous!

AG Coffee

After wandering around on the second day of Kyoto, we finally got to Philosophers path – Said to be beautiful etc it’s just a river with concrete. We took a detour to go to a shrine – it was shut…. but we did see a Costa Coffee just to solidify Bob’s theory that Japan is just the UK with less food options! Opposite however was a little coffee shop – that looked a lot like UK Coffee shops. The sign said Oat milk, Almond Milk and other options so we took a chance.

The staff were really nice, wanting to help and spoke English whilst making the coffee. So we both got Oat milk Mochas and took it to walk the rest of the path. The coffee was finally drinkable it was pretty good in a normal coffee post it would probably be returnable and a 4 out of 5.

Ash also bought …..

Onigiri – Having seen them for years and people always raving about them, I knew I would have to give it a try. Upon tasting it, it was very meh – nothing special and nothing to rave about.

Sandwiches – They were fresh and a huge selection of Pork (if you like that) and other things that left me wondering why an earth????? The one I tried was very much like a day old Pret sandwich.

Beef Bento box from a supermarket – this was bland at best – the meat was ok. After trying the convenience stores – I feel like everyone who raves about this must come from Hicksville USA where they have never seen a BP select store where you can get meat pies etc.

On the train out of Osaka (to Tokyo) Ash bought a Bento Tray – because it’s one of those ‘done things’, Ash waited until we safely on our way north to open and start eating, but ten minutes later he was feeling sick, had a voilent headache and was close to charging through the train to find the toilet, the Bento got left on the train!

Bob survived on really REALLY EXPENSIVE Apples!!! Fries (when not fried in fish oil or beef) Candy from Korea and Coffee she had packed from home oh and Juice that was it! Couldn’t even drink the coffee as it was gross!