Dive Pub!

Time Out the bastion of all things to do in and around London (or so they claim) just launched the Top 50 Pubs in London and they are taking the piss aren’t they? No, really? We can’t let this go without a Climbing-Moss opinion, so here is our thoughts on the Top 10 in the list and our take on the so called best of and our suggestions for a better boozer in the area…

The annual list was published a couple of weeks back but we only took it seriously when we heard about the Top 50 via TikTok the other day and when we took a look we were stunned into outrage at the ridiculous selection.

So instead we want to give you our opinion of these ‘So called’ amazing Public Houses (where we can) and then tell you where to go instead, because trust us, you really don’t want to go there!

One point, we know most of these pubs and the area around them, but some are places you couldn’t pay us to go in, so we will say so and give a suggestion based on where we do know and this is the case with the first on the list…

At 10 is The Blythe Hill Tavern – Catford

Well it’s Catford – do we really need to say more? We will! It looks like a shit-hole, it looks like it should have closed down over 20 years ago and to be honest most of the pubs on this list look the same. We can’t say for certain it is as bad as it looks as we haven’t been there, but we have been to Honor Oak.
So we Suggest; You keep walking an extra half a mile and instead head for
The Honor Oak

9. The Pride of Spitalfields

If this is the pride of Spitalfields we feel sad and lost for words. This is another Shit-Hole down the side of Brick Lane, an area filled with bars, pubs and far, far better establishments than this, this, this…

So we Suggest; We could say The 10 Bells the classic Jack The Ripper Pub, that is packed every weekend, but it’s a bit busy, there are plenty of pubs around Spitalfields and Liverpool St area, we would say if you want something different and not manic, The Market Coffee House and Bar – Brushfield St. A six minute walk away (according to Google), for good beers, cakes and pleasant staff and good music. Or for a Sour head to Kill the Cat in Spitalfields Market.

8. The Old Coffee House – Soho

All the pubs on this list are in the back end of nowhere, they are all far away from anything close to public! This actually isn’t a bad pub – it doesn’t deserve to be on this list let alone number 8, but it’s one of those pubs that claim to be a Craft Beer Pub, because they sell Asahi! (That’s not Craft Beer before you say anything).
So we Suggest; There are so many, too many to mention but after looking how about The Lyric

7. The Pocket – Islington.

This pub has had so many names and so many revamps it’s impossible to claim it’s a good pub. It used to be the Four Sisters, The Compton and so many more and there are so many other pubs in the immediate area the choice is hard to pick…

So we Suggest – The Compton Arms
Just across the road and down the side road, a tiny little former old man’s pub, now one of those great secrets. It’s a bit trendy, is more a Gastro pub with the occasional Celebrity chefs, a vast improvement over the latest rendition of the other place.

6. Warrington Hotel – Maida Vale
Hold on, hold on, wait a minute, this pub is hands down one of the best on this list in London and it is shamed to listed with the rest of the dumps. This place has a beautiful beer garden, front vista and really quite lovely atmosphere. The hanging baskets in the summer are worth just driving past to see. It’s an oddity, there is no website, the google photos are terrible and there is no online menu,

So we Suggest, only go to this pub on this list!

5. The Britannia – Old St.
This is the pub that got me (Ash) so riled up when I saw the list. I have had the misfortune to drink in here, my ex-family drink in this dump and i’ve had to suffer funeral wakes in here, it is a typical old man’s, East End Wannabe Gangsters Piss Hole, again down a back road, off of Old Street, behind a hotel and the St. Luke’s LSO Building, not the kind of place you go looking for the best pubs in London.

So we Suggest – If you want a real ‘East End Pub Experience’ walk 8 minute to The Wenlock Arms or head up toward Old Street Tube and go to The Old Fountain – Baldwin Street.

4. Shakespeare Head – Sadler’s Wells

This is a 1970’s monstrosity, a pub with a flat roof is a reason enough to not inside, this is a re-fab building that survived! This is another dump and another excuse never to go inside. Just don’t!

So we Suggest; The Harlequin opposite, a nice, quite, cosy, little pub, it probably only holds 20 people but it’s 20 better people than the load, ‘Old Gits’ in the dump across the road! Or go down the road to Exmouth Market and go to the Mikkelar Bar for a real selection of beers and a pub owned by the one and only Rick Astley!

3. Prince Edward – Holloway.

IT”S IN HOLLOWAY. Need we say more. There is nothing good about Holloway and everyone that lives there will agree.

So we Suggest, get on the bus to Highbury, or if not go to The Horatio on Holloway Road! Or House of Hammerton for a nicer selection of beers.

2. Coach and Horses – Cambridge Circus

Bob’s most hated pub in London! She loathes this place, especially on Saturday night, when everyone suddenly realises there is a piano in the middle of the pub and they all start singing! The only possible positive of this place is they still sell Absinthe! But really if someone said meet me at the Coach and Horses in Soho, go to one of the other 3 pubs with the same name and claim you thought they meant that one!
So we Suggest; Any pub in the area, even the Brewdog across the junction, the Spice of Life on the other corner of the block, The Cambridge, one of the 9 Crowns in the area. The admiral Duncan, or just read our Soho Pub Crawl Guide from a few years back! (it probably needs updating)

1. The Old Nun’s Head – Nunhead

Where the Fuck is Nunhead? No idea! But given this list we would guess the Old Nun’s Head is as dry and dull as her ***** and worth missing at all costs! Hold just looked that’s Peckham – Bob’s allergic to Peckham, so… no!

So we Suggest; Go to Greenwich or North London, where you are safe and don’t need a passport or vaccine shots!
Honestly we agree with the TikTok post that suggested that someone is using this Time Out Post to try to push up the house prices in these run down areas of London so they can finally sell there dead parent’s house and move to Hampstead where there are actually nice pubs!

Generally all of the pubs from the Time Out List seem to be for ‘Old Men’ or people that want to watch football. Think 70’s loud carpets that are soaked in spilled stale beer. We prefer our pubs well nice for one, if they serve Sours and Stouts that is a plus but we like a good night out rather than having one foot in the grave. Maybe we should do more on pubs/nights out. Comment if you have any more recommendations. Where do you drink?