We have been to fair share of club nights, we have also been to our fair share of ‘kinks’ clubs, both mild and the more extreme, so it’s not like this was a first time experience. (Just so you know!)
So we have been to Torture Garden four times now, but this was the first return to a venue. We went to the Torture Garden in association with Theatre of Blood’s Hallowe’en experience last year and it was possibly the worst club night ever. But we thought we would give the Coronet in Elephant and Castle another chance we this year’s Torture Garden Halloween Night (without the ToB element).
Having been to the other events over the last year we hoped we would get the ‘usual’ crowd, the usual scene and the usual fun, chatty clientele.
Him: I had previously felt underdressed compared to those brave enough to walk about in their PVC/latex costumes or even naked, I am not that sort of TG patron.However having dressed in Steampunk and a Venetian Masquerader outfit, this time I wanted something a little more in keeping, so I made a corseted waistcoat, with the lacing and boning.
So the night arrived, we got dressed and ready, drinking and doing make-up (this is a good idea as the drinks are pretty expensive at the bar), we arrived to find a queue half a mile long, but filled with happy, scantily clad souls. We made it through the door before the problems started.
Her: When we were in the queue outside I could honestly say I didn’t see anyone that stood out to me.. It was kind of a ‘look I’ve got my tits out’ kind of crowd. They didn’t really seem much like they were into the lifestyle and more there to show off and for a good story the next week.
Him: I was stopped from entering because my trousers were too ‘Normal’. They weren’t PVC or see through and I wasn’t dressed like a Victoria’s Secret Male Angel. So I started arguing my point, a second female security took over and was adamant I was not getting in, because I was wearing formal dress trousers (which I have worn every time previously at TG), even though I showed her my hand made corset/waistcoat. To which she said ‘I don’t care it’s nothing special, you’re not coming in unless you take off the trousers”. I wasn’t willing to parade around naked on the bottom half (that not me). It was only when she came over and the security saw I was with a woman that she relented and let me in, under the proviso that I never try to get in again in trousers! So I got in and headed for the toilet where I found a guy in a basketball top, jeans and Nike trainers – because that’s too alternative and fetish wear isn’t it?
Her: I didn’t see any of this only the woman saying he was allowed in. What I found really strange was that they had metal detectors at the entrance, which went off with every person that went through. He asked the security what the point was and they said they got suspicious if the bleep didn’t go off! What’s the point? No one really wanted to talk or even look in another persons direction unless you were part of their group.
We did the rounds of the rooms, couples room, spanking room, VIP torture/ Display area. We never found the Japanese Bondage room and the Hospital Horror room was basically a room with the lights turned on and a set of gynecologists stirrups in the corner. It seemed ok but just not terribly interactive, no one was wanting to chat and the equipment was manned by officials only, no chance to simply play with the toys, unless you were willing to go to extreme and be completely naked and full exhibitionists.
Him: I’m not an extreme type, but I like feeling comfortable and letting those around express themselves in a comfortable environment, but the Coronet is so big, clearly the venue and TG must use the night as an open house to try to bring in new punters and most are there in the costumes they bought online for the night and will never wear them again. Standing at the bar during the night I overheard a conversation that told the story. Two guys in the feather collar, harness and rubber shorts from the VS website (of which there must have been 200 guys dressed the same throughout the club) moaning that they would never wear the outfit again, It wasn’t getting them enough attention for the girls on the dance floor and it was a waste of a £100.
Her: I don’t really mind what people do, Im kind of a live and let live sort of person. But what does make my blood boil is when you are in a club where people should be able to express themselves without judgement or ridicule there was an awful lot of people poking fun at others. Or there was weird freaky perverts! There is something OTT about a guy that will stand less than a meter away from a lesbian couple kissing whilst trying to get them to rub his cock (blergh!) When that failed just outright starring at me for the same damn thing whilst jerking off. There was more to this, but more than anything I just really didn’t want to touch anything cause of that i guess. I felt bad for the clean up crew. When your at a club with whips and stuff it does seem a bit odd when your watching a girl get flicked with finger and thumb and run off screaming about how much it hurt :S ‘I’m thinking what the fuck!’
The performances we saw in the main room were also rather lackluster, a male burlesque performer who walked on stage in a wedding dress and dropped everything the moment he reached the front of the stage. An aerial display of a guy dressed as an alien, basically sat in a hoop and waving an arm or a leg at some flying saucers that were more dramatic than himself.
Him: This isn’t turning into much a review as much as us moaning about The Coronet and their open door policy to locals and their admittance of the ‘wrong crowd’, but that is how it felt all night. I don’t know about returning to TG – I probably will- But I won’t be going back to The Coronet if I can help it.
Her: Mhhh I’ll go back to TG but never again will I be going back there again.