Vegan Butcher! An Oxymoron?

On the 1st of November we joined a queue, a very British Queue, along Islington’s Upper St, a queue like something out of Britain in the Blitz, a queue for a new Butcher. But there was something odd about this one and something we wanted to explore, it’s a Vegan Butcher, yes you read it right and yes that does seem like an oxymoron, but in this case it isn’t.

The first Vegan Butcher in London is Rudy’s and it opened its doors on National Vegan Day and we stood in the queue for about an hour to try some of the non meat alternatives they had to offer.

We ended up giving up as the free samples and the supply of Soya Based food quickly ran out on the day and then we returned a few days later and bought a selection of their range to try.

We were super excited to try this! Being that Brewdog, Pret A Manger, Wagamamas, to name a few have some delicious vegan options these days.

We left with included Black Pudding, Pastrami, Cheese, Scrambled Egg, Turk’y, Bacon and Burgers and we took them home eager to try out the meat substitutes .

It must be said there is absolutely no ingredients listed nor is there cooking instructions on any of the packets or on the website – so that should really be fixed. Being that there are a lot of allergies we couldn’t work out what we could or couldn’t have and just had to guess.

First up we made Burgers and laid on the layers of Peppers, Onions, Relish and Fake Cheese too, plus we grilled the Black Pudding.

We sat and lifted the buns to our mouths and bit in.

AAAAhhhh eeeeeehhhh – Gross truly!

The burgers tasted like what we think Bacon/Pork tastes like – no matter how much relish/mustard/ketchup you smothered on in, the taste overpowered everything -which was not pleasant.

Next up the Black Pudding, which tasted like nothing…..It had a really rubbery, plastic texture and tasted much the same.

Next up Bob tried the Pastrami, which was the best so far, however again didn’t taste like much but I guess had the same texture as its meat counterpart? – Just guessing here. Ash stated that it tasted like liquorice and had no meaty texture.

Then the bacon – which came out of the packaging as a huge clump and tasted more like boiled ham than anything else. We have had much, much better from other companies.

So far this was not looking good – which is a shame as we were really rooting for Rudy’s.

In a last ditch attempt – Bob tried the Turk’y, which unfortunately had rosemary on it (which I am allergic to). Guessed at cooking etc. I put it in the oven and waited eagerly… One hour later and a dinner fit for….. well…. no one? To be fare it started off ok, there was a kind of Meaty texture (Ash can confirm this being the meat eater), but then the aftertaste kicked in and hooked itself on to our throats and would not let go, it lingers for hours. There is no way of getting rid of the vile taste.

In an attempt to get rid of said taste, we tried the Cheese – That was the wrong thing to do, biting into it was like melted plastic and once the aftertaste started nothing could save you. Literally drinking lemon juice would not purge the hideous taste.

We still have the scrambled egg to try – but to be honest we are too scared.

Over all although we hope that Rudy’s continues being open and serving all sorts of vegan and non vegans alike – we will not be returning – like ever!

If you like Pork I suppose this place is for you but for the rest of us…

So no it’s not an Oxymoron, it’s just a moron on Oxy that shops there!

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